aric the red. aric the read.

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it should be noted that once, somewhere in my mid-twenties, I slapped a musician friend of mine for referring to himself in the third person. it should also be noted that there is a very large potential for me now to be even more up my own ass than before, having just sold a shit-ton of books before they are even out for public consumption. both of those being admitted, I couldn’t help but put that title in.

aren’t I clever? did I mention I wrote a book? what an interesting person I’m becoming!

I kid.

sadly only a little.

what you’re looking at is the first proof of the book. 3 years, 7 revisions and countless directions took with it and I’m still not happy with it. but I’m going to have to be happy with it, as the order goes out sometime next week. I was thinking about making a mad-dash with all of these monies in my pocket, but sadly, even after selling 200 early copies, I’m left with $183.

seriously. a little more than a buck-fifty.

should I go ahead and dispel that myth right now? I think I should…

writing a book ain’t gonna make you any money.

sorry.

I need to sell 300 more copies just to break even. and I’m not meaning ‘break even’ as in ‘well, I spent $2000 worth of wine over the past 3 years while working on this, so I need to recoup that’, no, I’m talking about paying my amazing staff, and paying for the printing.

500 copies! to make a profit!

long story short, this will end up costing me money. is it worth it? 1000 times over. I get to give my friends something I made… at a price, mind you, but it’s still kind of giving.

but this isn’t about how much money I’m not going to make.

it’s about that old saying:

‘if a movie didn’t have a deadline, it’d never get made.’

and boy-oh-boy, ain’t it the truth? I see, on every page, things I would change. this was started 3 years ago and I’ve grown [debatable] since then. especially as a writer. did you ever read my early stuff? they were chapters! painful! not to say this is anything mind-blowing, but seriously… I even had a poetry phase. twice. geeze.

but no. it’s about needing to put that red Sharpie down. in 5 days time, it’s going to have to be put down. and then, I step back away from the pool of personal validation and public acceptance. I need to throw it into the deep end and simply let go.

so, good luck, little book.

sorry about the months of neglect, or the constant mood changes. Frank was right when he said ‘man, the first thing you gotta do is learn the difference between ‘mood’ and ‘style’; and for that, I’m sorry for my bipolar approach to you. sorry about the scars, trust me that I did it out of love… for the most part.

thanks for carrying a lot of my weight.

it’s time for you to go to someone else’s home now.

a